Tools in Search of Purpose (or what I haven't learned in my first 36 hours at SxSW)

This is my first SXSW Interactive since 1998. Back then Linux and Swish were cool and the tools that everyone was using to build website and features  — okay so maybe they weren’t cool but at least we knew what their purpose was, right? They were actually about liberating technology and making it easier for us to communicate with each in engaging, effective and new ways.

So that happened. In a big way. First there was code, then websites, web 2.0, chat, Google, Facebook, Twitter and so much more. It doesn’t seem to stop. Every day brings something new—especially here at SouthBy (as it is now known).

Guy Kawasaki and Vic Gundotra at SXSW

But now what? Sorting through “big” things (SOPA, transmedia and social) and “little” things (HTML 5, CSS3, Highlight) is challenging, especially because most of the time people can’t articulate the tool’s purpose.  Why did you spend 100s of hours developing, testing, changing and marketing this thing (APP, site, tracker, etc.)?

Don’t just give it a cool name or tell me how it works— tell me what it can do. Tell me how any of this going to help my clients make change in the world. Technology is powerful—more powerful than just highlighting the girl next to you in line for a latte.

For now, I’ll just have to settle for the words (and promise) of Vic Gundotra, from Google, has been the only one to say simply that Google is out to create face to face to face connections in hope that those connections will change the world.  

What the f-ck is wrong with this picture? And what do we do about it?

When I first saw this picture on Facebook, I thought that someone was recycling a picture from the financial crisis. After all what would all these men possibly be talking about at Congressional hearing except how they had killed America's auto industry, housing market, quality jobs pipeline [insert industry here]. But no, in reality these yahoos were testifying about birth control. 

A panel of nothing but men. Talking about birth control. Really?

The NY Daily News reports that this picture went viral— more than 5,000 people shared it —within hours of it being posted by Think Progress (a progressive blog funded by the Center for American Progress). 

I'm only surprised it didn't move faster. I'm actually even more surprised that while people posted it, liked it, tweeted about it, etc. they actually didn't seem really pissed off by it. More resigned to the fact that this picture represents our reality. We, women, are actually second class citizens. Or at least that is the message that image, that panel, sends. Right?

And I think we actually believe it. Where is the outrage? In 1991 the anger we felt over the treatment of Anita Hill galvanized a generation of young women. We fought and won the Year of the Woman. We helped elect the first solidly pro-choice President. Doors were opened in classrooms, boardrooms and, hell, even bedrooms. We found our voice. And we used it. 

Now it seems we're struck mute again.  I know there are plenty of us that are angry but what, really, are we going to do about it?  Our choices are actually limited. There aren't enough strong women running for office. Most of my friends would rather not get involved in civic life. The politics are too dirty, the trade offs at home (or work) too great.  

Or so it seems. I would argue that there is a lot we can do. It is time for us to find our voice again.

We should stand up in droves; refuse to vote for people who aren't real champions; refuse to donate to political organizations that work against us; rally in the streets. Hell, maybe we should even go on a sex strike. If abstinence is the only option, well then let's see how long we can hold out. 

How long do they think they can hold out without us?

[Note: Other options include donating ridiculous sums of money to organizations such as Planned Parenthood, NARAL Pro-Choice America and EMILYs List.]

Time Flies! And today's lesson.

When I suspended this blog in October of 2010 I honestly thought I would come back to it in a few weeks, at most a few months. I never imagined that it would be 17 months!

But as I look back on those months, I understand why. So much has happened. In life, love, work, the world. Not much of it worth sharing, or at least I didn't think so while it was happening. It was just my life.

What I have realized recently though is my life is pretty cool and there are some things that I am learning along the way that I want to capture and, if folks are interested, share.

This week's lesson: Learning is cool! (And kids today are lucky!)

Seems like a pretty obvious point, i know, but I am spending the weekend in Tempe at a conference put on by Ashoka U (a project of Ashoka) and am surrounded by teachers, students, education experts, journalists, bloggers and others who are examining the state of higher education. Conversations are focused on empathy, innovation and impact. The exchange of ideas is happening almost as quickly as the exchange of business cards. New curriculums, new research, game-playing, etc. All around me people are talking about changing the world, finding your own paths, experimenting, learning for impact. My mind is sparkly with possibilities.

My how I wish that all of this existed when I was 11, 13, 17 or 21. I know it didn't, really. I am from the Breakfast Club generation - a world divided into geeks, jocks, princesses, freaks and criminals. High school was something to survive and college was required. And when I graduated, I bounced around, unclear as to what or who I wanted to be. Like many of my friends.

Now, I ended up just fine (as did most of my friends) I have a good job, have traveled and worked all over the world (for some pretty amazing people and organizations). So my academic performance (mediocre to classify it generously) in high school and my slightly better grades in college clearly didn't reflect my actual intelligence.

But I am still filled with tremendous envy of kids today. Learning in the 21st century is cool. You can do it on an iPad. Girls with glasses are "adorkable". Personal paths are something to be encouraged, not questioned or mocked. Experimenting is expected.

Taking all this in also made me a little sad. How had all of this passed me by. What could I have done if all of this had been there when I was younger? What change could I have made in the world! Oh, god, is my life a waste?

Then I heard a twenty-something (barely) speak last night. The audience was primarily forty-somethings (barely) and this "youngster" seemed to be speaking directly to me when it said it wasn't too late. That all this cool stuff wasn't just for his generation. That the coolest thing was that continuing to learn, to open our mind to possibilities was not just the domain of kids. It was in fact something that we could all keep doing at 20, at 30, at 40, at 50 and beyond.

How cool is that!
.

Thank you!

Over the last year more people have read this than I thought ever would and by and large the comments have been wonderful, encouraging and funny! I am, however, struggling to maintain this now that I'm back in the working world.

So, I have decided to suspend this blog for a bit. I will likely come back to it as I'm currently working on a book and will need to try out a chapter here and there.

Stay tuned!

k

CGI to COMNET 010

Just the other day a friend asked me if I was ever home. It was (and still is) a legitimate question given that in the last three weeks I've been home just four days. But all the travel, chaos, jet lag and hotel hair are worth what I've experienced. First up was the UN MDG Summit, the Social Good Summit and CGI.

Nearly a full week of networking, listening, learning and absorbing all of the commitments made by companies, NGOs, foundations and philanthropists. Exhausting and inspiring, my head is still spinning with the world (literally) of possibilities that are opening up for girls, women, communities, and countries. We can eradicate polio; we can make sure that death isn't lurking in the kitchen; we can empower girls in the US to help girls in Malawi, Jordan, Indonesia; and we can end the trafficking of children.

I left New York and the celebrity-filled halls of the Sheraton (as well as the world leaders crowded into the UN) inspired and challenged by how to communicate all of this to the world.

Following a brief stop at home to repack (and attend my first meeting as a NARAL Pro-Choice America board member), I have landed in Los Angeles for the Fall 2010 Conference of The Communications Network. This is my first trip to this annual meeting of more than 200 communications specialists from the world's largest foundations and philanthropies. For the next several days we will listen, learn and share strategies about how to effectively communicate the work of that grantees do (and that are funded by the folks here).

I'm fascinated by the speakers the group has chosen and most interested in hearing from Neal Baer (the EP of Law & Order SVU), James Surowiecki who wrote "The Wisdom of Crowds" and Lucy Bernholz a consultant who helps foundations maximize their investment in applied research. These are only a few of the speakers but the fact that they aren't necessarily "on topic" will challenge us all to apply their successful strategies to our own work.

I suspect Baer will talk about leveraging pop culture and media to help drive change. Law & Order SVU has always been a strong supporter of RAINN and is tonight airing an episode on the delayed intake and processing of rape kits.  I look forward to asking Surowiecki a question about how his work is related to the age-old Roper model of focusing on "influentials" (a strategy I recommend often).

In all, it should be really interesting. First up, though, a little fun: a night of cocktails and music on the roof of the GRAMMY Museum (how cool!) and dinner with a few friends on another roof. I'm sure the conversations will focus on change, big and small, and how we can all work towards it.

My what a difference a year makes (or not)

I woke up this morning and suddenly realized that it has almost been a year since I started this life experiment - how crazy is that?

A year ago, I had quit my job, was participating in my "last" UN week, preparing to head off to Paris and so excited about the new life ahead of me.  Like many things in life, things didn't exactly go as planned. I quit my job but my boyfriend quit me. I spent a lot of time in Paris but I still came home to DC. I thought I was done with divine nuttiness of global philanthropy but this morning I find myself packing for another week in NYC.  So different, but very much the same.

For once though I'm excited about the "sameness".  Next week in September is one of my favorite of the year. It is filled with amazing conversations, pledges and commitments around how we can all work together to make the world a better place. Ten years ago, when the MDGs were first imagined, I don't think anyone would have thought that true progress would have been made on reducing child mortality rates, putting more girls into school and finding innovative ways to fight global hunger. But we have. There is still so much more to do (as Bono pointed out today) but this whole "let's work together for the common good of humanity-thing" is actually succeeding and I'm proud to do my little bit.

My clients and friends will make world-changing announcements this week. (I know, it is an overused phrase, but nearly $2 billion for girls and women in the developing world is game changing.)

This time last year, I rededicated myself to "helping make great change possible".  I get up most days and ask myself if I have been true to this idea; and for the most part I think I have been. Sometimes it comes in little ways (writing a press release; spending Saturday on the phone with a client advising them on how to position their programs or ideas); sometimes it is about money (increasing my donations); sometimes it is just in a simple action (directions for a stranger). 


So I think I have, but next week will also serve as a reminder that I have not done enough - yet.

Balance is b*llsh*t. Seriously.

As I was walking down the street, late for something, I suddenly realized that this quest for balance is, simply put, bullshit. I don't really know what triggered this epiphany but the harder I thought about it, the more I realized it is true.

We’ve been told – especially if you are a woman - that we can have it all. A healthy family, a successful career, a set of wonderful friendships, a size 6 figure and a fantastic spiritual life – they are all in our grasp. Or at least that is what the billion-dollar self-help industry keeps telling me. That is what all my favorite gurus tell me. Hell, it’s even in the print campaign for my dry cleaner. (Ok, this last one isn’t entirely true but by only charging me $1.99 per garment they are telling me I can have clean cashmere and still have money left over to buy lunch. So there.)

But what I’ve suddenly realized is that everyone is wrong. We all have to make choices and at the end of the day we’re going to drop some balls. And that is, repeat after me, okay.

How do I know this? Let me count the ways:

• It is September 1st. My last blog entry was July 21th. When I didn’t have a job, I could find time to sit in cafes and think about life. I could write about anything I wanted and do anything I wanted. Then I got a job. I’m now too tired to think about what’s for dinner, let alone think about the larger life issues.

• 12 things … not so much. I haven’t done too badly on this pledge I made to myself to only buy 12 wardrobe items this year (it’s the 9th month and I’m on item 11) but I will buy more than 12. Honestly, I wanted to feel pretty and buying 3 new dresses from Anthropologie was simply easier than any other option. I know I'm going to feel this again, and soon, this need to find some solace in boots or cashmere or silk. It doesn’t add anything to the waistline and it is actually cheaper than therapy.

• Dating at 41. Seriously, this might be the worst. I’m 41. I spent my 30s getting into or out of three long-term relationships. I’m emotionally stable, a red head and I’ve got a great rack (or so people tell me). Yet, according to the magical, mystical dating gods at the online services I’m about as eligible as, well, not so much. My last two dates have been with a guy who brought another girl into it (not what you think, get your mind out of the gutter) and a man with constant flatulence. (The last one is a long story and it will make you laugh, very hard.) So now what? Wait for the gods to send me someone other than a computer programmer from Lorton who considers 80s-era Tom Selleck his fashion icon? God, I hope not.

• Living in the dark. One thing I didn’t accomplish during my 8 month sabbatical was getting my light fixtures replaced. That, fixing my running toilet, and installing new screens on my doors have been on the to do list for over year. But I didn’t get to them while I didn’t have a job and so every night I come home to a dark hall way and a lamp in the living room that turns on and off at will (maybe signaling I need help).

• Calling my mother. I can actually broaden this to my larger community and family. I want to be present in people's lives. I want to ask meaningful questions, connect on a personal level, be a better listener. Instead, I find myself trying to cram too much in. (Did I mention I was running late to something?) This leaves everyone frustrated, especially me. Ultimately, I end up disappointing the very people I care the most for because I'm trying to do it.

Okay, so I’ve determined that balance is BS but now what? It can’t all be about the job and how much it sucks to work this hard. I actually love my job. I love the work that my clients do and I love the fact that they ask for my help to achieve amazing things. I have succeeded in making change possible a part of my life. So as far as job's go, this is a good one and I'm happy.

No, it is, I've decided, just a fundamentally flawed premise to try and do it all AND succeed. In order to have real balance we actually have to let go of something. Try not to be perfect. This is what they tell you in Yoga classes when you move into balance poses; just focus on one thing (your breathing) and let the rest go. It is one of the principal teachings in Zen Buddism. Back around 500 B.C. Lao Tzu wrote:

So sometimes things are ahead and sometimes they are behind;
Sometimes breathing is hard, sometimes it comes easily;
Sometimes there is strength and sometimes weakness;
Sometimes one is up and sometimes down.
Therefore the sage avoids extremes, excesses, and complacency.

For me, this means that it isn't actually about FINDING balance, it is about accepting that sometimes your life will be out of balance. And that unbalanced life is just fine, for me, for now. (Though I really do need to find a plumber and electrician; anyone?)